"Steroid Twat"

Comics That Will Likely Never Happen #1

Steroid Twat is out with his pals. They're wrapped up in scarves and hats except for Steroid Twat, who is perfectly bare chested and amazed at how hot it is for the middle of January. They arrive at their destination, a warm, gleaming pub, and enter - except that Steroid Twat doesn't enter, no, because he's too fucking wide for the door, so instead finds a window near his pals and watches them from outside.

Hours pass. Cosy and merry, his pals joke and laugh, and you can see Steroid Twat's face at the closed window, watching them, laughing along.

It starts to snow very, very heavily. At the window, Steroid Twat's face continues to watch and laugh, although, as the night progresses and further layers of snow amass upon him, he appears to be in increasing discomfort doing so. Closing time finally arrives, and Steroid Twat's pals spill out into the street, joking and laughing, to collect him.

Sadly, Steroid Twat is dead.

Note: Steroid Twat is not actually a twat. He's an agreeable fellow who was given a peculiar if oddly prophetic christian name by his loving parents Mr and Mrs Twat.